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You want something Happy? Here you go
In the quiet town of Justice, where fresh baked apple pies have many window sills to cool, lies a small pet shop with a kind and gentle owner. Inside this quaint shop resides many kittens mewing in the sunlight, fishes from gold to tetra swimming happily, birds whose beautiful songs seem to bless the glorious day, and many cute little puppies who just love to play and to frolic. Every morning and night the animals are fed promptly and never go wanting. Though deep in the eyes of every kitten and puppy lies the hope that soon they will find a loving family to love them and take care of them.
Our story is about the cutest little puppy whose name is Brown. Quite an unconventional name, but one he has grown to love in his short years. With four other brothers and sisters, he doesn't seem to stand out much. Though in his cute puppy eyes one can see his desire to run around in the grass, and have a chew toy of his very own. Saturday mornings are his favorite days, because he gets to see all the children rush up to the windows to try to convince their parents to buy them a friendly companion. Oh how he hopes and dreams that one day he could have a master of his very own to protect and to love. His brothers and sisters all agree that one day they will be adopted, and though they will be separated, they will always be together in spirit. For they are a close family, being they are all they have, that is until the day they find a home.
One by one Brown's brothers and sisters are chosen by children and couples. Each was chosen until it was only Brown left. The owner of the shop took care of Brown, but he seemed to have troubles of his own. When the children would come in, oh how his tail would wag. His whole body would convulse on his excitement, as if to say "today is the day, today I will find a home." The children would pet him and kiss him. One particular child would say: "Oh I want to just take you home," but he never did, no one seemed to want Brown, and as he got older, his faith would wane. He began to think no one would want him at all, that he would stay in his glass home forever. After a while he wouldn't even wag his tail, he even stopped noticing people coming in at all. His only friend it seemed was the old shop owner, who began noticing poor Brown less and less.
After a while the old man would miss feedings, and never bothered to bring more animals into his shop. He even started just giving his little friends away, he never smiled anymore, and looked bald and frail. Some days he wouldn't come in at all. Brown became a very sad puppy who was turning in to a very sad dog. No body wants to have a sad dog as a companion. Brown missed his brothers and sisters, and started to miss the old man even more. Brown would go days without eating, and even when he was fed he wasn't really all that hungry anymore. Until one day something curious happened, two men in blue jumpsuits walked in to the pet shop, with determined looks as if there were looking for something.
"It's a shame really, he was just about as old as my dad. What a way to go, with no family, it's amazing he still ran this place," one of the men said as the other nodded. They didn't seem to notice Brown, and he couldn't blame them, why would anyone notice a sad dog, who looked as if he hasn't eaten in weeks. The men started picking up dusty cages and various other items in the store when one of them stopped and stared at Brown. "That is sad, this poor dog was left here to starve," Brown looked up at this curious gentlemen, "Leave it alone, call the pound, it's just an old dog, he probably doesn't have long, Hell, he could be diseased for all you know." Brown just laid his head back down, because he could tell in the man's voice he wasn't wanted, and who could blame him. Suddenly he felt something he hasn't felt in what seemed like ages, a hand rubbing his head and then scratching his ears. "Naw, I know what to do, everyone needs a home and someone to care for, he just needs food and a friend," just as he said that he grabbed a plastic bone that squeaked "here you go fella, your very own chew toy."
Well, Sir Carlin is dead, and I don't think anyone could replace the gaping wound that is left. Who knows, it could be you that will fill the hole like so many "jons" stuffing their fat man-hoods into so many useless prostitutes...but I don't think so because you are not funny and you have no real grasp of the English language.
On another note, this will be my 100th post, which means nothing to you, and less to me. If it makes you feel better, I've become a little flabby from too many beers/working at a desk, and when I fuck my lady I wheeze. Rather lame, this I know, but no worries, I fluxuate from healthy to tubby rather regularly so I'll bounce back.
Enough with the brute honesty, how about some lies then?
I have made my pictures "unviewable" and i don't know how to change it back. I have been crying in my coffee all morning. That also reminds me on useless conversations from friends that does nothing but put way too much pressure on me. An example of that is when a friend of yours says (without provocation) "Dude, I need to talk to you, I can't do it over the phone, can you come over," or some other lame bullshit like that. It is selfish and wrong to just assume that you can unload your baggage on another person with whom you consider friend without permission. Worse yet, you are having a fairly decent day, let's say it's Saturday, and you just got done making eggs while recieving a blow job (at the same time), then you decide to go online to play games or something, but you go to check your e-mail and suddenly you get an e-mail about some useless crap (i.e. a mass e-mail about how sad it is when little children get hungry after watching barney) which doesn't ruin your day, but just interrupted the rhythem of awsomeness that was, but no longer, your morning.
Fuck People, and to a slightly lesser degree, fuck friends. They are just leeches that want nothing more then to fuck your girlfriend, steal your money and ideas, insult your intelligence, suck your time from you, and complicate the ever-so-simple process that is living while at the same time desperatly trying to rationlize what they are doing by accusing you, from time to time, of being a bad friend.
Oh, and ladies, if you have a friend who is a guy, they want nothing more then to violate your future (or current/past) baby apartment, no matter what they say, or do, who they are with, or how you rationalize (oh, he is just a friend and he's just being funny; he doesn't want to sleep with me, he has a girlfriend). That is how and what it is, even if you are ugly or fat they will fuck you at any moments notice if you give them the chance. That's why guys have lady friends, escpecially if they are with another broad. They have you as a hopeful back-up in case their current fuck-puppet breaks down (or whatever pet name they are given, don't steal that one it's mine). As for me ladies...I'm not your friend. I never have lady friends, it doesn't happen because women piss me off too much. I may talk to you, and I may appear to be your friend, but I can't have women friends because I'm not a good friend and eventually you will hate me and I you. Ask Cassie, she's a cool person and I treated her like shit. It's the sad truth, but that is life. Also, if I have fucked you before and I talk to you still, think about why, I'm sure you will know why.
Except you of course...you are cool
Strangely enough, I'm using Newgrounds as a way to post my thoughts from now on. I've tried other places and have come to the conclusion that I don't care what others have to say, I just need a place of record.
So, lets see how this works, and my sexy lady friend is naked on the couch staring at me wondering why I'm on the computer typing some strange statement on Newgrounds.